Resolutions of an Overtired, Desperate Mommy

The holiday season has come to a close, and aside from feeling wonderful about the time we spent with our little family as well as extended family, I am exhausted.  I love spending time with everyone, but traveling away from home is so tiring.  We got to spend two and a half days in our home in the past two weeks, traveled in two completely opposite directions within a four day span, and I can honestly say that I never want to travel like that again.  When we are away from home, our boys don't sleep well.  Which means that Mommy barely sleeps at all.  The time of year that I used to adore became something I didn't want this year... A burden.  I didn't smile enough.  I was too grumpy.  I cried a lot more than I should have.  And for the first time, I am so happy that Christmas is over.  Never in my life do I want to feel that way about "the most wonderful time of the year" again.

So, in the spirit of the New Year, here are my resolutions.  Not all of them will seem like resolutions, as they are more accurately called, "Things I Want to Do to Make Life as a Wife and Mommy More Joyful."  Here we go.

1- I will stop dwelling on the past.  (Yes, this holiday season was very hard on me.  But I can't change that now, aside from being sure future ones are different.)

2- I will end this year closer to God than I have begun it.  (Because I have begun it way too far from Him.)

3- I will get into shape.  (Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually as well.  I even worked out today for the first time in a year.  Yes, I suck at working out.  And yes, I hurt really bad.)

4- I will love my husband more. (This means more date nights and more time spent together without a television on or phone in hand.  Watch out, babysitters.  You will be getting phone calls.)

5- I will love my children more and be more patient. (I have lacked in this a lot lately, especially around the holiday, and it has resulted in many tears and much hurt in my heart.  I won't feel like this anymore.)

6- I will be a friend. (I have a hard time with this one.  I have no close friends to confide in, spend time with, and just have a break away with.  And no one looks to me as a friend in that way either.  That will change.)

7- My house won't look perfect. (No, this is not a cop-out to allow me not to clean.  This is me realizing that I spend way too much time keeping my house neat and not enough time playing cars and giggling.  My house is not as important as my children.  It will be sanitary, but not always orderly.  And that is okay.)

8- I will not take as many pictures.  (I have my phone in my hand almost constantly, not always because I'm playing a game or Facebooking, but because I'm taking pictures and videos.  I love having the reminders, but I am missing the moment.)

9- I will stick to our budget and save money for something big.  (I am so very tired of apartment living and putting our money into something that isn't ours.  Time to try to change that one.)

10- We will spend more time at home for the holidays.  (I'm sorry if this is a hard one for our families to be okay with, but I shouldn't spend my holiday evenings crying.  Roads goes north and south, east and west, and we shouldn't need to travel every direction every year.  We may not have a house yet, but we have a pull-out couch, air mattress, and live beside a hotel.  We can make that work so that I don't grow to resent the Christmas season.)

11- Aside from God, my family will be the most important thing to me.  (My decisions will be based firstly on what is right in God's eyes, and secondly on what is best for my family.  Those are the only two options.  In the past, every choice has been based on what the other person(s) affected by the choice will think of me.  But if you aren't my God, husband or sons, then your opinion doesn't rank as high.)

12- I will read more and write more.  (I love to read, but have trouble keeping up with reading things that will enrich my life.  This year will bring more reading of enlightening literature and journaling.)

There are plenty of other things that will change this year, (like, I will not be pregnant at any time during 2014.  At least, I don't plan to be!) but they don't all need mentioning.  Everything stems from my top 12 resolutions.  And I will work my hardest to stick to them.  All I ask in return is that my family and friends help me to be accountable and to fulfill them.

So, what are you resolving to this year?