It's been a while since I last posted, and a lot has been going on! We have been in the process of making some decisions for our family and our future, and one of the decisions has officially been made and put into action, and I'm so excited! Let me fill you in.
For a few years now, I have had two friends that were independent consultants/now directors for Thirty-One Gifts, a great company that sells some of the most charming bags, accessories, and organizational supplies I have ever seen. Better yet, they are named after Proverbs 31, the parable of a woman who is compassionate, loving, successful, and faithful to God and her family. I've attended a few parties, bought a few items, and envied how excited my friends were about the opportunity they were taking advantage of. Sure, I considered becoming a consultant as well. Multiple times, actually. My husband and I spoke about it on occassion and I always said, "When life isn't so busy, I'll consider it." That was over a year ago. Life is busier now than it was then, and I have realized that, until our children are grown and not dependent upon us, it's always going to be this way.
I love my family with my whole heart. Everything that I do, I ask myself, "Will I glorify God through doing this? Will my family benefit from this?" When I considered becoming an independent consultant for Thirty-One over the last few weeks, I kept pushing it aside. I asked myself those two questions but I kept thinking, "This is something I am considering doing for myself, because I want to. It's beneficial to me, not to my family or God." I immediately wrote the thought off and went about my life. But over the last month, it kept creeping back up. So I took some time to think about it.
This really was something I wanted to do. I was drawn to the quality and beautiful design of the products. I was lured by the joy and accomplishment I have seen in my friends who are associated with the company. But I automatically assumed that me wanting to do something meant I was not being considerate of what God would want me to do or what was best for my family. You see, I have this issue. I'm considerate. You think, "Great. Here she goes tooting her own horn, saying she is so considerate that she can't bear to do anything for herself. She wants us to think she is just so selfless." Well, yes. I am actually telling you that I'm very selfless. But I am in no way "tooting my own horn."
You see, for me, selflessness is one of my biggest sins. I would sacrifice everything for the well-being of others, especially my family. Up until a month ago, I set aside a quiet time to spend with God maybe once every month. I was drifting so far from a personal relationship with Him. I was too busy, but only because if anything came up that someone needed me to do, I said yes. I didn't think about it. I didn't make sure it fit into my family's schedule. I said "yes" and made it fit, even if it meant sacrificing time with my family and God. I don't think the word "no" left my lips once in 2013. I was one of the biggest people pleases around.
This year, I resolved to be better. I started off my year commiting to a daily devotion and quiet time. In the past, I started a "Read the Bible in a Year" plan every New Years Day. The longest i ever made it before giving up was a month. This year, I commited to a 15-day plan first. I realized that I need to start small and work my way up! I finished it and have moved on to a new month-long reading plan. I wanted to start taking better care of my body. So I devoted myself to a month-long plan that I can do throughout my day and without needing to use the television. I can workout in my living room, my bedroom, or my son's bedroom as he plays. He even does squats and leg lifts with me... Enthusiastically! I also promised myself I would be happier. And one thing that know I need to do to be happier is to set aside time and certain things for myself. Not mommy time. Not chores time. But "me" time. A time to do things that I am passionate and excited about. Cue my new adventure!
After months of thinking about it, and about a week after resolving to do things to make myself happier, I was presented with an opportunity. A chance to do something for me, that also glorified God and benefited my family. I was given the chance to become an independent consultant for Thirty-One and I couldn't turn it down.
"But wait! Didn't you say earlier that you pushed that idea away because you didn't feel it glorified God or benefited your family?" Why, yes, I did! And then I got smart and realized I was SO completely wrong. This last week has been busy, but amazing. I have continued to work on my health and physical body. I have been spending time reading and talking with God. And I've begun building a business that I am excited and passionate about. And I'm happy! I came to the realization that this decision was just right for my family and me after talking with a friend (who is now my director,) and my husband. I needed an outlet, an area of my life that could be mine. But it needed to be something I cared about and that would allow me to have some time to myself, while still fitting around my family's schedule. Thirty-One is just the right fit.
How does it glorify God? I'm awful at talking to people I don't know. I want to connect with my neighbors and have the courage to talk to others about my church, but I can't even squeak out a "hello" in passing without feeling awkward. If I want to be successful in my business, I'm going to be getting over that real quick. And I have already gained courage to speak to others without having known them for more than five minutes! I can use my business and time as a way to show them the joy that I feel and tell them why I am so happy!
How does it benefit my family? Aside from the fact that I can contribute to our finances and help set aside money for vacation, a home, bills, etc, I am a much more happy wife and mommy than I was a month ago. And a happy mommy is much more understanding with her sick, tired baby when he wakes up every hour at night, and more patient with her potty-training toddler. A happy mommy plays more, makes cookies more, and reads more books. A happy wife spends time cuddling on the couch and actually talkin with her husband.
And a happy wife/mommy is just happy. I'm tired and busy, but I'm in fellowship with God, I'm playing with my kids, I'm spending time with my husband, I'm beginning to build a business, and I'm happy. In my book, 2014 is already shaping up to be my best year yet. Time to see where it all leads!
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