I have been slacking in the area of spending quality time with God. I don't remember the last time I sat down and read my bible more than just to know the passage we were covering in Sunday service or our community group. I've been "Read(ing) Through the Bible in a Year" for going on two years now. My only regular prayer time is in the evenings when we pray together before my son goes to bed. And by the end of the day I feel like I've been drug through the mud because I just feel so heavy.
I don't understand why we hesitate to set aside time for God. When I read and pray regularly, I feel amazing! I feel refreshed, I can take on the day with a more positive attitude, and I know I'm a more pleasant person and better wife and mom when I'm in constant fellowship with God. So why is it so easy to push Him away? It's just like exercise... I know that I want to exercise. I know that it makes me feel better about myself and provides me with so much more energy. But I never find time for it despite all of the reasons I want to! And when I do, the "habit" last for about two weeks and then I push it aside again.
After listening to the sermon yesterday and talking about a few things in our community group last night, I realized that I truly desire to be in a more constant fellowship with Christ not only for myself, but for my husband and children. I want to be more pleasant in every day life. I want to be able to teach my children about how awesome God is throughout the day when they are at home with me. I desire to meet my neighbors and get to know them on more than just a wave-as-I-drive-by level and to potentially share the good news of Christ with them. So I decided to start being more intentional about setting aside a chunk of my time to learn about and talk with God.
When I went to bed last night, I set my alarm for 7:00am. My eldest son usually wakes up around 7:45am, and our youngest is sometimes asleep, but when he's awake he's content just staring at a light fixture or a dangling toy. So that would give me a nice chunk of time to start out my day with some fellowship with God. And, of course, the inevitable (and usual) happened... At 6:55am, five minutes before my alarm was set to go off, I hear, "Hey! Mommy! Daddy!" over the monitor. I hit the button to turn on the video and sure enough, my eldest son was standing at his door yelling for us. (He has yet to figure out how to turn regular round doorknobs. I consider this a blessing.)
So, I began my day like every other one today. And I realized that if I want to spend time with God, I'm probably going to have to be even more intentional than waking up at 7:00am. I feel like any morning time starting sooner than that is still bedtime, so I'm not quite sure I can crack into waking up at 6:30am. But I do have a nice hour and a half chunk of time in the afternoon that is called naptime. I so enjoy taking a nap during that time, especially since I do have a newborn who still enjoys waking up multiple times throughout the night. But perhaps I need to learn to go to sleep before 10:30pm and find my rejuvenation during the day in the refreshment of God's Word. The thing that makes me more pleasant in the morning is surely able to help in the afternoon just the same.
So, we'll see how this afternoon goes. And maybe one day I will get to wake up in the morning when my alarm goes off and not when someone yells for me. We'll work on the exercise thing later.
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