Finding the Beauty in the Everyday

I haven't blogged for a really long time. I told you it wouldn't last! ;)

But, I felt led to recently.  I've spent so much time being busy lately.  Busy with work, busy with church, busy with family, busy with friends.  But busy isn't always good!  In face, I despise busy.  I hate that lately I feel like I have been so busy that I'm missing everything.  I'm just quickly buzzing through life, watching the minutes, hours, and days pass me by, and not savoring any of it.

There's a quote that says, "Busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to."  And I'm one of them.  I'm severely addicted to busy.  I want so badly to make a difference.  To do something important.  And so I pack my days and then at the end of the day, I sit in silence and think of how much I missed, how much I didn't do, and how much I wish I wouldn't have been so busy.  I feel like when there is downtime, I'm not being productive and just wasting time.  But there is so much beauty in the un-busy.

So I challenged myself over the last week to take time to not be busy.  I savored the cuddles I got from my boys.  I gazed at my family for a few extra minutes each time I saw them.  I prayed more than usual.  And I saw some moments that I don't always take the time to see.  I also decided to photograph a few moments in each day that I thought were beautiful.  Now, that doesn't mean I carried my camera around and photographed every single thing, because when you do that, you don't get to live in the moment.  Sure, you have that photo forever, but what about the memory?  You aren't living in that memory.  You're only documenting it.  So I just kept the camera in a handy place and if it was close, I grabbed it.  I challenged myself to take at least two photos of the beauty I saw in my day each day for a week. Some of my favorite ones aren't the ones I expected them to be...

 Cameron decided to try to touch his tongue with his nose for five straight minutes and giggled until he got to the point that he couldn't stick his tongue out anymore.

If you watch Ben throughout the day, when he is sitting still, about 90% of the time his little feet are crossed at the ankles. He stretches his tiny toes out the entire time he does it and wiggles them back and forth in the cutest way.

Ben learned that it's so funny to open his mouth when he's eating.

I wanted Ben to wear the hat for a few extra minutes so that I could take a picture to send to Daddy. He immediately made his boo-boo face. That little bottom lip gets me every time, and the kid knows how to use it!

The boys played peek-a-boo behind my curtains the whole time I worked to make cookies for a friend one day. It was so precious to just watch them enjoy each other as siblings.

This little face will always melt my heart. The rotten crooked-toothed grin. The little hemangioma on his forehead. The droopy eyelid. Some things that may not be considered perfect, but that make my little sweetie the cutie that he is.

Watching my big boy read is one of my favorite things to do.  He can get completely engrossed in a book just like his Mommy always does. 

My little pirate stealing a cookie while my big pirate was still napping.  At first I got upset because we don't let them have much sugar, and these weren't our cookies.  And then I saw the joy on his face...  A stolen cookie every now and then isn't so bad. 

One of my most favorite things to do that I don't allow myself to enjoy enough: baking.

There is something beautiful about flour scattered across the countertop.  It's a pain to clean up, but it can be such a wonderful thing.

I had to edit this one a lot so that the rainbow was visible.  No, it isn't the brightest rainbow.  And it isn't the biggest rainbow.  But it's the first rainbow that my big boy ever found on his own without someone's help.  I heard, "Mommy! Mommy! LOOK!!!"  He's never been so proud.

A recipe turning out like you want it to is something that I don't relish in enough.  The failed recipes always overtake my memories.

This kid loves his Daddy.  And it's a love that I cannot wait to watch grow even more.

Spaghetti is always such a mess to clean off of this kid.  But he loves it so much.  And how could you not?!  Look at that sweet face...

Almost every day, when I lay him down to sleep, I just stand there and watch him for a minute.  The sweet, stillness and the quiet look on his face make me realize that even if I can't give my kids everything, I have given them comfort and safety and support.  Enough that they can rest peacefully knowing they'll wake to a happy home.

Cam's new favorite thing to do: Pufferfish face.  If you've ever seen Finding Nemo, you'll understand.  He yells, " Oh! Here we go!" and puffs out his little cheeks. Then laughs like crazy.

And this one.  This is quite possibly my most favorite of the photos I took.  It's a mess.  I hated cleaning it up.  But in the moment that I took this photo, it was because I realized that even when things are tight, even when I get frustrated at a late bill or a less-than-full grocery cart, we have enough.  We have more than enough!  If I can spend an afternoon making a cake and cookies for friends as they celebrate milestones, then I am so blessed.  Not only with the money and the ability to make them something cute and delicious, but also blessed with wonderful people in my life.

If you think my sink is full after thinking about all of the beauty in my life, you should see my heart. 

Don't forget to see the beauty in your day.  Don't let the busy keep you from it.

Life with Two

My kids didn't sleep much last night.  The wind was bad, they were grouchy, and my husband and I both spent more time in our kids' bedrooms than in our own.  I slept in a recliner a lot of the night...  And that's no fun.
But in the midst of the little sleep I got, I spent some time thinking.  And I decided something.  Two is hard.  One was easy.  Parents outnumbered the children when only our oldest was born.  We could take turns getting up at night, as our attention was only focused on one little person.  I didn't feel like I was constantly forgetting what I was doing, or never eating, or always as tired as I am now.  I could actually get my work done before my "deadline" most of the time.
So I started compiling a list comparing one and two.

Here's what I've come up with so far:
- With one kid, you can usually still shower about once a day.  With two, I jump up and down in excitement if I get to shower once every other day.
- With one kid, you go to the park a lot.  Go grocery shopping.  Get out of the house often.  With two, you have to strategically plan outings because you don't have an extra hand to carry an umbrella when it rains, and there is only room in the shopping cart for one child (unless you shop at Sam's Club.)
- With one kid, you can usually eat your meals when you make them.  With two, you eat your food after it has been "climate controlled" for about an hour, and either chow down as quickly as possible or eat in spurts.
- With one kid, you can nap when they nap on long days to rest up.  With two, you can sometimes get them to nap together, but you use that precious half hour of conjoined napping time to shower, because you don't remember when you did that last.
- With one kid, you could keep your home neat, tidy, and sink empty.  With two, your goal is to make sure that the small toys aren't in reaching distance of the baby, and that means clean.  You are also almost always behind on dishes.
- With one kid, you could focus your attention to them and play with them whenever they asked.  With two, you have to split your attention and it inevitably makes one kid impatient and upset.
- With one kid, people were jumping to babysit your bundle of joy so you could go out with your husband.  With two, you just hope you can find someone to babysit so that you can get out of the house for at least two hours once a month with him.
- With one kid, you still got to talk to your friends fairly often and spent time with them.  With two, it sometimes feels like the only friends you have are the ones you are bound to by marriage/blood that live in your home.

Told you.  Life gets crazy with two.  But it also gets crazy awesome.
Despite the fact that life is crazier, busier, and more tiring, two is amazing.  Sometimes it's hard to remember what it was like before our youngest came along.
- With two kids, you get twice the fun!  The biggest loves making the littlest giggle, and you are almost guaranteed a huge laugh-fest in the middle of every day.
- With two kids, you appreciate the quiet more.  You can be more productive when you are given the time to be because you know that tomorrow will begin anew with the same busy-ness.
- With two kids, you learn who the awesome babysitters are, because they continue coming back after spending the evening with your kids and are willing to deal with the multiple phases your kids go through because of the age gap.
- With two kids, you realize who the great friends are.  And who the understanding ones are.  Because they are okay with catching up via Facebook message while you nurse the baby to sleep because that's the only time you have to talk.
- With two kids, your heart grows in a way that you never knew it could.  It would seem there is not enough room for the love you have to provide to them both, but by golly, there is.
- With two kids, you get to watch the sibling bond form, and it happens fast.  Watching the littlest one's eyes light up when big brother/sister walks into a room is enough to cause little tears to form in your eyes.
- With two kids, your kids have a playmate to spend time with, to learn with, to grow with.  You can watch the gears turning in their heads as they learn together.
- With two kids, you feel twice the love from the littlest sweethearts that you never knew could hold so much of your soul in their hands.  Bad days melt away when those tiny fingers twirl your hair as they eat.  Or when you go into their room at night after a bad dream and they hug you and whisper, "Mommy, do you want to sing with me?" in your ear.

Now... How's it gonna be with three?? I'm okay waiting a while to find out :)

Dear Mommy....

Dear Mommy,

      Did you know that we love you so much?  You are the person that we spend most of our time with every day, and we don't know what we would do without you.

      We know that sometimes you get frustrated when Big Brother is grouchy and doesn't listen.  But, Mommy, this world is so overwhelming.  Every day, he's learning something new...  How to speak in sentences, how to interact, how to behave.  Sometimes it's just so much for his little brain to handle.  Big Brother tries so hard, Mommy, and he loves it when you tell him you are proud of him for being such a smart boy.  Try not to get upset at him when he is being a little too adventurous and touching things he shouldn't be.  That's how he learns what he can and can't do.  It will get easier one day, Mommy.  We promise.

      We know that sometimes Little Brother fusses.  A lot.  But it's so hard when you want to crawl and run and play with Big Brother and your body just doesn't know how yet.  He loves it when you help him sit on the floor safely and play blocks or cars with Big Brother.  One of the best times of the day to him is when you move the coffee table and let him roll and spin all over the place.  Keep doing this even when he's grumpy, Mommy.  We promise that he will learn to move better soon and then you will have to keep up with two boys!

      We're sorry that you feel like you are always at the doctor's office between the two of us.  But we are so happy that you are just trying your best to make sure we are perfectly healthy.  Sometimes scary things come up in appointments and they make you worry, but don't let it get to you too much, Mommy.  We don't like it when you are sad and worried.  God is always taking care of us, even when it's hard to remember.

      Mommy, why do you always say you don't like the way you look?  We think you are so beautiful!  You are our favorite lady in the whole wide world!  We know that you say you don't like the way your belly looks in your jeans, or the way you have wavy purple lines on your tummy that Big Brother likes to outline with his finger when he sees them.  But Mommy, don't forget...  That belly grew us and carried us each for over nine months!  You had two miracles in that belly so far, and it was one of our favorite places to be.  It kept us warm and cozy, and protected us, too!  We learned to breathe in that belly.  We learned to suck our thumbs in that belly.  You felt us move before anyone else could even see us.  Never forget that, even though it doesn't look the same, it's still part of you and we love it because of that.

      We know that you don't look like you did when you were twenty, and that parts of you aren't as firm and perky anymore.  But when your arms feel jiggly, and you think your thighs touch a little too much, don't be too hard on yourself.  Your body went through so much the last three years just so that we could be here!  Your breasts may be saggy and veiny, but they nourished us and kept us alive and growing for a long time!  We are here because of you and because you fed us and cared for us!

      When you feel like you are "just Mommy" all day long, remember that it's because we need you so much.  One day, we will be grown up and won't call you "Mommy" anymore, and you will long for the days that we were grouchy because we just both wanted to cuddle in your lap a while.  The nights that you wake up three and four times will be long gone, but the memory of cuddling our tiny bodies and smelling that sweet baby smell of our heads will stay with you forever.

      We don't care that there are dishes in the sink, or that the floor needs vacuumed.  (Little Brother hates the vacuum anyway.  That's why he screams every time you  use it!)  It doesn't matter to us that the furniture doesn't match or that you stay in PJs a lot because Little Brother likes to spit his food back up on you.  We won't remember that stuff.  We will remember when you played tag in the house even though the downstairs neighbors don't like it when we run.  And when you made cookies with us and let Big Brother sit on the table and sneak finger-fulls of icing when you pretended not to be looking.  We will remember when you taught us our ABCs, and how to count to twelve.  And when you snuck in our bedrooms to give us little kisses in our sleep or to be sure we were breathing because we were sleeping so soundly.  And our special dates that we go on sometimes, especially to Dunkin Donuts.  Those are our favorites, and our wives will thank you later for teaching us how to be such sweet gentlemen.

      But don't be too sad when you think about us growing up, Mommy.  We will always need you!  When we need girl advice, we will come to you with questions.  When that math problem is just too hard to figure out, we will ask you for help.  When we feel like God is just too far away, we will come to you for prayer.  You are one of our biggest role models and we are thankful that we get to learn from you every day.

      Be patient with us, Mommy.  We are trying our best to grow up for you.  But don't make us grow up too fast, because one day, you will miss this time when we needed you so much.

We love you, Mommy!

Big Brother and Little Brother

A New Adventure!

It's been a while since I last posted, and a lot has been going on!  We have been in the process of making some decisions for our family and our future, and one of the decisions has officially been made and put into action, and I'm so excited!  Let me fill you in.

For a few years now, I have had two friends that were independent consultants/now directors for Thirty-One Gifts, a great company that sells some of the most charming bags, accessories, and organizational supplies I have ever seen.  Better yet, they are named after Proverbs 31, the parable of a woman who is compassionate, loving, successful, and faithful to God and her family.  I've attended a few parties, bought a few items, and envied how excited my friends were about the opportunity they were taking advantage of.  Sure, I considered becoming a consultant as well.  Multiple times, actually.  My husband and I spoke about it on occassion and I always said, "When life isn't so busy, I'll consider it."  That was over a year ago.  Life is busier now than it was then, and I have realized that, until our children are grown and not dependent upon us, it's always going to be this way.

I love my family with my whole heart.  Everything that I do, I ask myself, "Will I glorify God through doing this?  Will my family benefit from this?"  When I considered becoming an independent consultant for Thirty-One over the last few weeks, I kept pushing it aside.  I asked myself those two questions but I kept thinking, "This is something I am considering doing for myself, because I want to.  It's beneficial to me, not to my family or God."  I immediately wrote the thought off and went about my life.  But over the last month, it kept creeping back up.  So I took some time to think about it.

This really was something I wanted to do.  I was drawn to the quality and beautiful design of the products.  I was lured by the joy and accomplishment I have seen in my friends who are associated with the company.  But I automatically assumed that me wanting to do something meant I was not being considerate of what God would want me to do or what was best for my family.  You see, I have this issue.  I'm considerate.  You think, "Great.  Here she goes tooting her own horn, saying she is so considerate that she can't bear to do anything for herself.  She wants us to think she is just so selfless."  Well, yes.  I am actually telling you that I'm very selfless.  But I am in no way "tooting my own horn." 

You see, for me, selflessness is one of my biggest sins.  I would sacrifice everything for the well-being of others, especially my family.  Up until a month ago, I set aside a quiet time to spend with God maybe once every month.  I was drifting so far from a personal relationship with Him.  I was too busy, but only because if anything came up that someone needed me to do, I said yes.  I didn't think about it.  I didn't make sure it fit into my family's schedule.  I said "yes" and made it fit, even if it meant sacrificing time with my family and God.  I don't think the word "no" left my lips once in 2013.  I was one of the biggest people pleases around.

This year, I resolved to be better.  I started off my year commiting to a daily devotion and quiet time.  In the past, I started a "Read the Bible in a Year" plan every New Years Day.  The longest i ever made it before giving up was a month.  This year, I commited to a 15-day plan first.  I realized that I need to start small and work my way up!  I finished it and have moved on to a new month-long reading plan. I wanted to start taking better care of my body.  So I devoted myself to a month-long plan that I can do throughout my day and without needing to use the television.  I can workout in my living room, my bedroom, or my son's bedroom as he plays.  He even does squats and leg lifts with me... Enthusiastically!  I also promised myself I would be happier.  And one thing that know I need to do to be happier is to set aside time and certain things for myself.  Not mommy time. Not chores time.  But "me" time.  A time to do things that I am passionate and excited about.  Cue my new adventure!

After months of thinking about it, and about a week after resolving to do things to make myself happier, I was presented with an opportunity.  A chance to do something for me, that also glorified God and benefited my family.  I was given the chance to become an independent consultant for Thirty-One and I couldn't turn it down.

"But wait!  Didn't you say earlier that you pushed that idea away because you didn't feel it glorified God or benefited your family?"  Why, yes, I did!  And then I got smart and realized I was SO completely wrong.  This last week has been busy, but amazing.  I have continued to work on my health and physical body.  I have been spending time reading and talking with God.  And I've begun building a business that I am excited and passionate about.  And I'm happy!  I came to the realization that this decision was just right for my family and me after talking with a friend (who is now my director,) and my  husband.  I needed an outlet, an area of my life that could be mine.  But it needed to be something I cared about and that would allow me to have some time to myself, while still fitting around my family's schedule. Thirty-One is just the right fit.

How does it glorify God?  I'm awful at talking to people I don't know.  I want to connect with my neighbors and have the courage to talk to others about my church, but I can't even squeak out a "hello" in passing without feeling awkward.  If I want to be successful in my business, I'm going to be getting over that real quick.  And I have already gained courage to speak to others without having known them for more than five minutes!  I can use my business and time as a way to show them the joy that I feel and tell them why I am so happy!

How does it benefit my family?  Aside from the fact that I can contribute to our finances and help set aside money for vacation, a home, bills, etc, I am a much more happy wife and mommy than I was a month ago.  And a happy mommy is much more understanding with her sick, tired baby when he wakes up every hour at night, and more patient with her potty-training toddler.  A happy mommy plays more, makes cookies more, and reads more books.  A happy wife spends time cuddling on the couch and actually talkin with her husband.

And a happy wife/mommy is just happy.  I'm tired and busy, but I'm in fellowship with God, I'm playing with my kids, I'm spending time with my husband, I'm beginning to build a business, and I'm happy.  In my book, 2014 is already shaping up to be my best year yet.  Time to see where it all leads!

Below-Zero Chicken Noodle Soup

It was COLD here this week.  Below freezing, in fact.  There were so many stories of frozen water pipes and pictures of frost inside windows.  And, of course, what freezing cold day would be complete without at least twenty Facebook friends posting screenshots of their weather app or pictures of their car dashboard showing the absurd below-zero temperature.  We were all cold.

To make matters worse, I started getting sick that day.  I despise being sick.  Especially the "I don't want to do anything but lay on the couch and nap and watch TV" sickness that hit me in the morning.  But, I'm a mommy, and mommies don't get sick days.  So I did the next best thing to sleeping...  I made homemade soup.  I love cooking and baking, and decided to share my first ever recipe on the blog.  This may lead to more recipe-type posts of some favorite recipes I've come up with myself.  I do have a plethora of unique and delicious dishes, if I may toot my own horn. We will see if they get added in future posts.

I should also note that I don't always do things fully homemade.  In fact, I am a big fan of semi-homemade recipes.  I did not make my own noodles or broth for this recipe.  As awesome as that would be, I just don't have the time!  I do, however, try to buy the most healthy options possible when making something not entirely from "scratch."  I also like to save money, so I use a lot of generic brand products.  You may use whatever brands you'd like.  If I prefer a certain brand in a recipe, it will be noted in the ingredient list.  Also, this is not a perfect recipe.  And you might not like it.  We do, and that's why I'm posting it.  Because someone out there is bound to have the same taste as us.  Throw this in the crockpot the next cold day you get, and cozy up with a good book (or watching a movie with your kiddos like I did,) while your house fills with the yummy scent of homemade goodness instead of microwaved store-bought canned soup!

Below-Zero Chicken Noodle Soup

Ingredient List

2-3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

3 stalks celery

1 cup baby carrots

12oz egg noodles

64oz chicken broth

1tbsp McCormick Perfect Pinch Rotisserie Chicken Seasoning

1tsp garlic salt

1tsp thyme

1tsp onion powder

1tsp parsley

2 cups water

olive oil

salt and pepper (to taste)

Chop your celery and carrots into bite-sized chunks.  (I do my celery stalks longways first to prevent having huge pieces, and I buy petite baby carrots to eliminate the need to peel and dice.  Plus, I hate carrots so if I have small enough pieces, I almost forget they're in there!)

I love the colors of chopped fresh veggies!

Trim the fat from your chicken breasts and cut into bite-sized chunks.

Drizzle olive oil for a turn of the pan into a large skillet.  Add your chicken and McCormick seasoning.  Saute until golden brown.

Add celery, carrots, 1/2 tsp onion powder and 1/2 tsp garlic salt.  Saute 5 minutes just to begin to soften your veggies and to combine flavors.

Add chicken and veggies to crockpot.  Rinse skillet with some of the chicken broth to loosen and gather any of the yummy bits of seasoning stuck to the pan.  (The best part of this soup is the sauteed taste!)  Add remainder of chicken broth to crockpot, as well as the water.  Add remaining 1/2 tsp onion powder and 1/2 tsp garlic salt, as well as parsley, thyme, and salt and pepper (to taste.)

Cook on low for 6 hours.  

In the last hour of cooking, add your egg noodles OR cook egg noodles separately and add to completed soup before serving.  (As a word of warning, whole wheat egg noodles, while healthier, tend to become very mushy when cooked in broth too long.  If you don't mind a mushy noodle, add them to the crockpot whenever you'd like.  If you'd prefer a more formed, sturdy noodle, add them as previously directed.  Or opt for regular egg noodles and add whenever you'd like!)

Serve steamy and warm, preferably with some fresh baked bread of Texas Toast grilled cheese sandwiches.

Resolutions of an Overtired, Desperate Mommy

The holiday season has come to a close, and aside from feeling wonderful about the time we spent with our little family as well as extended family, I am exhausted.  I love spending time with everyone, but traveling away from home is so tiring.  We got to spend two and a half days in our home in the past two weeks, traveled in two completely opposite directions within a four day span, and I can honestly say that I never want to travel like that again.  When we are away from home, our boys don't sleep well.  Which means that Mommy barely sleeps at all.  The time of year that I used to adore became something I didn't want this year... A burden.  I didn't smile enough.  I was too grumpy.  I cried a lot more than I should have.  And for the first time, I am so happy that Christmas is over.  Never in my life do I want to feel that way about "the most wonderful time of the year" again.

So, in the spirit of the New Year, here are my resolutions.  Not all of them will seem like resolutions, as they are more accurately called, "Things I Want to Do to Make Life as a Wife and Mommy More Joyful."  Here we go.

1- I will stop dwelling on the past.  (Yes, this holiday season was very hard on me.  But I can't change that now, aside from being sure future ones are different.)

2- I will end this year closer to God than I have begun it.  (Because I have begun it way too far from Him.)

3- I will get into shape.  (Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually as well.  I even worked out today for the first time in a year.  Yes, I suck at working out.  And yes, I hurt really bad.)

4- I will love my husband more. (This means more date nights and more time spent together without a television on or phone in hand.  Watch out, babysitters.  You will be getting phone calls.)

5- I will love my children more and be more patient. (I have lacked in this a lot lately, especially around the holiday, and it has resulted in many tears and much hurt in my heart.  I won't feel like this anymore.)

6- I will be a friend. (I have a hard time with this one.  I have no close friends to confide in, spend time with, and just have a break away with.  And no one looks to me as a friend in that way either.  That will change.)

7- My house won't look perfect. (No, this is not a cop-out to allow me not to clean.  This is me realizing that I spend way too much time keeping my house neat and not enough time playing cars and giggling.  My house is not as important as my children.  It will be sanitary, but not always orderly.  And that is okay.)

8- I will not take as many pictures.  (I have my phone in my hand almost constantly, not always because I'm playing a game or Facebooking, but because I'm taking pictures and videos.  I love having the reminders, but I am missing the moment.)

9- I will stick to our budget and save money for something big.  (I am so very tired of apartment living and putting our money into something that isn't ours.  Time to try to change that one.)

10- We will spend more time at home for the holidays.  (I'm sorry if this is a hard one for our families to be okay with, but I shouldn't spend my holiday evenings crying.  Roads goes north and south, east and west, and we shouldn't need to travel every direction every year.  We may not have a house yet, but we have a pull-out couch, air mattress, and live beside a hotel.  We can make that work so that I don't grow to resent the Christmas season.)

11- Aside from God, my family will be the most important thing to me.  (My decisions will be based firstly on what is right in God's eyes, and secondly on what is best for my family.  Those are the only two options.  In the past, every choice has been based on what the other person(s) affected by the choice will think of me.  But if you aren't my God, husband or sons, then your opinion doesn't rank as high.)

12- I will read more and write more.  (I love to read, but have trouble keeping up with reading things that will enrich my life.  This year will bring more reading of enlightening literature and journaling.)

There are plenty of other things that will change this year, (like, I will not be pregnant at any time during 2014.  At least, I don't plan to be!) but they don't all need mentioning.  Everything stems from my top 12 resolutions.  And I will work my hardest to stick to them.  All I ask in return is that my family and friends help me to be accountable and to fulfill them.

So, what are you resolving to this year?

Since Everyone Else Is Talking About Opinions...

I am so thankful that I live in the United States.  I am able to worship the God I choose, I can spend my money how I want, and I'm not told how many kids I am supposed to have.  I am given so much freedom that I take it for granted on a daily basis.  But with all of this freedom we have, why do I never share my opinion on certain topics?
I'll tell you exactly why.  Because to a lot of Americans, having the freedom to have an opinion also means they have the ability to degrade and disrespect others due to their opinion.  If you are reading this looking to hear my side of the current controversial argument that is filling my Facebook newsfeed, look elsewhere.  I do not plan on sharing my opinion at the moment.  But why not, you say?  Because I am afraid.  I live in a country where I'm free to live the way I choose (for the most part,) yet I live in fear when I speak.  I fear that I will offend someone and start a disagreement.  I fear that I will lose a friend over a difference in opinion.  I fear that I will be called stupid or ignorant by the opposite "side."  If you know me, you may assume that you know my stand on the current topics, but rest assured, you do not.  My husband knows.  And he is the only one that I feel comfortable sharing those stances with.
My husband is my rock.  My best friend.  Yes, that does sound incredibly cliche, and probably a bit cheesy, but it is true.  When my husband and I discuss issues such as these, I know I can speak judgement free and not have the fear of being attacked for how I feel.  And contrary to what you may believe, that is not because we agree.  My husband and I have differing opinions on many subjects.   But we agree on the areas in life that are important to us and that shape our relationships with God, our marriage and our family. 
When we were dating, Adam made sure to let me know that he hated seafood (aside from fried popcorn shrimp that barely tastes like shrimp,) because I love seafood and could eat it on a daily basis.  I knew that there was likely no changing his mind on the topic.  A lot of times, once you become an adult, you like what you like and that's that.  Guess what?  I married him anyway.  When we went out to eat, I took the opportunity to eat seafood if it was available and he could order chicken.  Did we get into all-out fights in the middle of the second course of our meal because I was eating something he didn't like?  Nope.  We agreed to disagree and ate what we enjoyed.  We were able to live in harmony, make compromises and live our lives.
Now, I know that seafood is not as much of an "it" topic as homosexuality, abortion, or our current president.  But it is still an area in which many people disagree.  I didn't realize that when I logged onto my Facebook this morning when my son took his morning nap, I would be greeted with hundreds of pictures of a camo-wearing bearded man with several different statuses, and 20+ comments on each friend's status filled with disgust and hate.  The sad part is that people were not pointing all of the hate at the man in the article, or the author of the article, or even the issue itself.  They were throwing their disgust toward the "friends" who posted the article and commented on it.  Some of the things I read made me think very differently of some of my friends.  I even read someone say that someone else's opinion was wrong because they had too many grammatical errors in their sentence.  Seriously?  (We live in a mobile generation.  It's called auto correct and it sucks.)  After reading those comments, I snuck back and took residence in my comfy, quiet, non-opinionated cave and decided I was definitely not sharing how I felt about the topic.  No way was I going to be made to feel disrespected or ignorant because my "friends" disagree with me.
Where did we go wrong?  When did we become so awful to one another?  I believe in God, as I'm sure you know.  Not some random god, but the God, the Almighty, the Creator.  I know a lot of people that do not believe in the same God as me.  Do I hate them?  Nope.  Do I attack them and tell them they are living their lives wrong and that they will be damned to hell?  Wrong again.  I pray for them.  I care about them.  I try to invest in their lives, get to know them, and if they want to have an adult discussion free of the drama that runs so rampant in our culture, I say "Of course!" and we are able to do so without ruining our friendship and causing an uproar.  Would I like it if they changed their opinion to be on course with mine?  Of course.  Life would be so much easier if we all agreed.  But we don't, and that is never going to happen.
Do you want to make an impact for whatever "side" you are on?  Stop being hateful!  Stop making people feel ignorant just because they don't believe the same as you on some topics. You may not believe in Jesus the same way I do, but look at his example.  Jesus met many people that didn't believe He was the Christ, the one sent to set us free from sin.  Did He avoid them?  Or yell at them in the street?  He dined with them and got to know them.  He befriended them and as a result of His kindness and compassion, others began to follow Him and were interested in His opinion.  He didn't lack passion for what He believed just because he didn't use a harsh tone or picket signs.  In my opinion, he was much more passionate than those that speak out hurtfully towards others for the sake of their stance.  Because He was able to demonstrate control in the way he defended His opinion.  It's very hard to show control in a situation if you are passionate about it.  But by being subtle and showing He cared for the person before the opinion, He was able to be more passionate, and many others ultimately aligned with His way of thought.
We need to care for one another and not just topics.  It is sad that there are some of us that feel embarrassed when we read others' comments and retreat to our safe place of no opinion.  Too many people think that freedom means "I can tell my opinion and be correct and should be free from persecution, but when you share yours, I get to degrade you."  Just stop it!  Learn to show compassion. Want to show you are truly an adult and that your opinions matter?  Then learn how to have a civilized discussion or debate concerning things you feel strongly on without berating someone else for not agreeing with you.  If you want to try to change the minds of those that believe differently, care about them as a human being and not just about their opinion.  Post on their Facebook walls to say, "How are you?" and not only when they post something controversial.  I am more than my opinion on gay marriage.  I am more than my opinion on abortion.  I am a person with feelings.
And, for the record, as time went on, Adam decided to try seafood and it turns out that he is actually pretty fond of it.  I guess that's what happens when you show respect for what someone else thinks.